she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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