i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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