let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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