A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
