The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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