I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize