Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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