we have pet lesbian snakes
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My bed smells like the plague
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