Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
