quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
