You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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