google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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