Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
