I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
