somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
