YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
