Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
