Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
