Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
