I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
