I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
