I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
