What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
