i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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