Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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