The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
