Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
