im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
