Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it hurts more in the daytime
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The struggles of a small town man whore
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
