Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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