he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize