I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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