I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize
