Having a random hookup so left but love u
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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