Are we in a gay sports bar?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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