I accidentally burped into my bong.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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