Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize