i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Four minutes until I can fart!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
