so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
