covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
