Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
