That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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