i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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