K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
