i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
