feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
