I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
