i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
if i died would you start the facebook group?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
