I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
