Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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