If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
