honey bunches of taint.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize