Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
