Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
