So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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