Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I looked at my own cervix.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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