bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
All the doctor said was why
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
