I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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