How'd it feel making her break her religion?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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